Dispossession

30"x36" (approx .75 m x .9 m)
Acrylics on cardboard, wood, gauze, and plaster of paris

I put this under portraits and not 'Macabre and Horror' because this is very much a portrait of myself. If you are willing to give me a moment of your time, please let me tell you a quick story.

Back in early August i went out to my front porch around 1:30 AM one night for a quick cigarette before bed. I had to smoke with my left hand instead of my usual right because my right hand was bound up in a brace due a pulled tendon. As i stood there a car pulled up in front of my house, and, along with dozens of empty beer cans, came four people. They rushed up onto my front porch and quickly surrounded me, blocking my way to my front door and any way off the porch. They were drunk. They were looking for trouble and for someone i'd never heard off. I asked them politely to leave. They told me they didn't like the tone of my voice and were so going to kick my ass. They jumped me.

I was thrown to the ground on my front lawn with one of them behind me who had me in a headlock and throughout the entire incident choked me into unconciousness five or six times. While he did that the other three took turns punching me in the face over and over. When their fists got tired they started stomping on my face with their boots. The whole time they all yelled at me "You like that? You like that bitch?" Finally, one last stomp, one last loss of conciousness, and the words "He's done!" and my minutes that seemed like an eternity of hell were over. I was finally left for dead.

Several months and massive reconstructive facial surgery later (the surgeon said the inside of my face "looked like corn flakes"), these people are not in jail. They are free. Supposedly my case is being worked on. But the people who did this to me, who tried to kill me, and nearly did, are going on with their excuses for lives without remorse, without justice, without punishment. I can't believe in a God who would waste flesh on garbage like that.

So this is a portrait of me. This is me that night. This is me now. That night will never go away. I relive it over and over, every time i go outside. This is who i am, who they made me. I do not fear Hell. I have already been there.

You can download a much larger version of the image if you want to see the details. I will not make a print available of this painting, but comments, critiques, and constructive criticism highly appreciated!